with a guest appearance from a girl i know.

things college boys need to learn about wearing clothes


1. baggy pants just aren't cool anymore.
2. your old running shoes are actually ugly.
3. don't wear glasses unless you actually NEED them.
4. not even jacob from twilight can pull off that long of hair.
5. brown is a good thing; neon isn't.
6. don't wear a basketball jersey unless you are playing basketball. really, don't.
7. there are jackets that aren't from the 1980's, and they look fantastic.
8. dragons just aren't that cool anymore. sorry.
9. the truth is that it is better to have one awesome pair of jeans than 5 pairs of halfway decent ones.
10. the raiders never were a great team.
11. cardigans are okay. so are cords. try them.
12. ponytails look dumb.
13. don't be afraid of v-necks.
14. sandals and socks are basically illegal.
15. pink kinda makes you look dumb.
16. if i may mistake you for a female, you should probably do something about that.
17. wearing shorts with long socks won't keep you warm.
18. camo and cargo are two things you should never put on.
19. denim on denim is a fail.
20. cowboys are always better than gangsters. just sayin'.

and i would be the middle-aged mother, fighting you off, and just wondering where my dang cigarettes went.