"You mean, you peed your pants for the fun of it?"

"Well, yeah, we were wearing our swim suits!"

-Emma, and Noah, on what he and Calvin do with their free time.

"how many fingers do you type with? like, all ten?"
-yelin

"I'm always like, yeah, I could take a nap to this..."
-Ramsey DeGeare, on watching baseball on tv.

"Richie, this illness, this closeness to death...it's had a profound effect on me. I feel like a different person, I really do."
"Dad, you were never dying."
"But I'm gonna live!"

-the Royal Tenenbaums

"MICHAEL, stop it. Do NOT do that in my car! Swallow it!"
-A lady up the street, yelling very loudly.

Sometimes the funniest things are the ones you hear from a distance.

"Most of my friends wanted to be white when we were growing up."
"I just wanted to be Justin Timberlake!"
-Two kids in my ethnic studies group

"I'm kind of a mountain man."
-Steph's dad, Mick, in the middle of a conversation.

"wait until my hair gets long, then we will have real fun."
-noah hahn, age 12.

"So is the insomnia. The insomnia's all right. What do I gain by sleeping? You reach an age when every minute of sleep is one less minute to do useful things. To cough or limp...Forget the cigarettes. I like to tell myself I'm getting away with something. Let the Mormons quit smoking. They'll die of something just as bad. The money's no problem. I'm all set incomewise. Zero pensions, zero savings, zero stocks and bonds. So you don't have to worry about that. That's all taken care of. Never mind the teeth. The teeth are all right. The looser they are, the more you can wobble them with your tongue. It gives the tongue something to do. Don't worry about the shakes. Everybody gets the shakes now and then. It's only the left hand anyway. The way to enjoy the shakes is pretend it's somebody else's hand. Never mind the sudden and unexplained weight lose. There's no point eating what you can't see. Don't worry about the eyes. The eyes can't get any worse than they are now. Forget the mind completely. The mind goes before the body. That's the way it's supposed to be. So don't worry about the mind. The mind is all right. Worry about the car. The steering's all awry. The brakes were recalled about three times. The hood shoots up on pothole terrain."

-Don DeLillo, White Noise